March 2005
In Bounds
By Jack MacKenzie, CGCS
My family has a history of Alzheimer's disease. Aunt Ellie, my maternal
great Aunt, became a victim of the syndrome in her 80s, as did my maternal
grandmother also in her 80s. And my mother may have been showing signs of either
Alzheimer's or dementia shortly before her passing at the age of 76. No one will
ever know for sure.
But one thing that is for certain, the process of watching a loved one lose his
or her sanity is heart breaking for everyone involved. The symptoms can range
from simple personality changes to hallucinations, arguments, striking out and
other violent behavior. Losing interest in previously enjoyed pastimes and
losing awareness of who you are can also manifest. What could be worse you ask?
How about witnessing this transformation within yourself as I did for so many
years while I wrestled with my alcoholic tendencies. Yes, many of you have read
my story before, but some may not remember it or perhaps need to reread and
reflect upon the detrimental effects of a compulsive behavior.
Just what is an example of a compulsive problem? How about drinking a pint of
vodka on the drive home followed by a six- pack of beer consumed casually to
"cover up" the smell of booze upon your breath. Or perhaps saying morning
prayers to have the hangover go away only to begin drinking mid afternoon. Maybe
you have the inability to pass up the pull-tab box in a bar or the consistent
weekend trips to the casinos. How often do you call your bookie? Are you plagued
by a desire for illegal drugs such as cocaine or even marijuana? Or are you
running up credit when your bank account is empty?
The consumption of alcohol was my compulsion of choice. And with that repeated
desire came the break-up of my family, the exploitation of my hard-earned
dollars, the paranoia of being "found out" and the loss of my sanity. For 20
years my desire, and choice, to drink caused me to do things many would consider
just plain nuts.
With haste every evening I drove to one of six different liquor stores for that
bottle and six- pack. Evening phone conversations were often repeated and too
often not remembered. Hobbies once enjoyed became secondary unless they allowed
me to drink at the same time. Mood swings made me difficult to live with. Gosh,
at times I found it difficult to live with myself! My addiction to alcohol was
driving me crazy. And here is the kicker, I knew it was happening the whole time
and watched myself spin in a slow motion spiral as I searched for spiders in my
empty bottle of vodka.
Eventually, and thank God for it, my fear of insanity drove me to a
psychologist, forced me to admit that I had a problem and then caused me to
search for help.
On March 5th, 1995 I took my last drink. The following day I began the rest of
my life, sober and appreciating the gift I have been given. The first month was
a challenge, but I was empowered with the tools necessary to limit my compulsion
to desire without acting upon the obsession. Of primary help was the code of the
recovering alcoholic, the 12 Steps.
The 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous
1 We admitted we were powerless over alcohol-that our lives had become
unmanageable.
2 Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to
sanity.
3 Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we
understood Him.
4 Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5 Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of
our wrongs.
6 Were entirely ready to have God remove all of these defects of character.
7 Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
8 Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to
them all.
9 Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so
would injure them or others.
10 Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted
it.
11 Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with
God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the
power to carry it out.
12 Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we tried to
carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all of our
affairs.
If you are like me and carry a compulsive behavior, be it gambling, drug
addiction, obsessive spending or any sanity-stripping fixation, then the Steps
may be able to help you overcome your challenge. That is of course, only if you
want to regain your sanity. And that is a key to success.
A person has to want to find the "cure" more than continue the compulsion.
Nobody can do it for you. It boils down to choice. Indeed when first in
treatment I was told that I had a disease. And believe me that alone helped my
stick with the program. But after witnessing the actual disease of Alzheimer's I
question if the desire for alcohol is an illness or a compulsive choice. Upon
thoughtful reflection, I had and still have a strong compulsive tendency. But
within my personal program is the freedom of choice.
As I came to find out more and more about my sad state of mind I learned that I
had the internal support system to stop drinking, my own "greater power" is
there with me at all times. This very second, with the help of my "greater
power" I choose not to drink. And in five minutes or five hours I will choose
not to place myself in a situation where I have to pin my insanity to the mat in
an effort to maintain my sobriety.
The beauty of my program goes well beyond a conscious effort not to drink.
Controlling my sanity is dependent upon my understanding that there are many
things in my life I have no control over. However, there are things in my life
that I need the courage to control. Hence the often heard and seen prayer:
God. Please grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the
courage to change the things that I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
Understand I am not trying to pontificate a religious perspective. But rather
provide each of you, my friends, the opportunity and tools to conquer your own
demons if you have the desire to. For those of you suffering with a compulsive
behavior, get help. It could save you coin, it could save your relationships and
it could save your health. But most importantly it will save you from going
insane.